About Drac

Vlad "Dracula" has mysterious origins, but here's what is known.

Born Vlad Tepes the Third in 1428 A.D., he was the son of an insane cobbler and countess. His childhood years were peaceful, spending his time as a goat herder and cheesemonger.

Upon his father's accession to the throne of Wallachia, which would later become Transylvania, young Vlad's life was forever changed by royalty. Developing a penchant for war and impaling his enemies on spikes, he was feared for his brutality and bloodlust. This quickly gained him the moniker "Vlad the Impaler," which made him quite popular with the ladies of the era.

The next 50 years of his mortal life are somewhat murky. It's known that at some point he started referring to himself as Dracula, or the Son of the Dragon. He was also reported to drink the blood of his enemies and was both hero of Romania and a terror of the world. Experts say this is probably what made him a vampire, but only Dracula knows for sure, and he has repeatedly replied "No comment." when questioned.

Following the events of Bram Stoker's Dracula, a novel he claims as "almost true except the dying at the end part," Dracula lived a solitary life tucked away in his castle feeding off local villagers, derelicts, winos, and basically terrorizing the country of Transylvania until he mysteriously vanishing from the public eye until around 1965.

Upon his reemergence to the world at large, Dracula was pleased to discover the creation of cinema and the miracle of Kung Fu Films. A quote from a 1976 article in Hustler magazine states; "I love going to the movies. All the daylight stuff is fantastic. I'd love to make one. What is Hustler?"

In a failed attempt to create his own martial arts film, Fangs of Fury, he inadvertently caused the disaster known as the Great Hong Kong Inferno. This would put an end to his aspirations as a filmmaker, but not quell his love of Kung Fu cinema.

By the 1980s, VHS technology had swept the world, so naturally, Dracula became the curator of, quote, "the most impressive VHS Kung Fu film collection in known existence." This was unverifiable due to the fact that anyone who went to confirm the collection was never seen again.

With centuries under his belt and several failed attempts at his life from various slayers, politicians, and tourists, Dracula decided to "cool it with the monster stuff" and focus on sharing his film collection with the world. This was virtually impossible for Dracula until the summer of 2019 because he had not yet heard of the internet.Now, with a solid dial-up connection and a strict diet of pigs' blood, Dracula has received "Not a Monster" status from the Transylvanian Board of Tourism and is ready to hit the big time internationally with "Dracula's Kung Fu Theatre"- a high watermark in Transylvanian entertainment.

When asked about his plans for the future he said, "Well I'm immortal, so I'll be there."